I am pretty great and while I could go on about that - I think it would be more productive to talk about the realities of "We to Me to We."
We to Me to We - (Yep, stole it from the me to we guys)
When we are first born we become part of a family, a group, a unit - the people, whomever they are that help to raise you, teach you and look after you through your childhood. Then at someone point you become a me, those people are all still around, but it instead of your life being dictated by the family interactions they become your own actions, desires and wants that guide you. Where do you want to go to University or College or Work, where do you want to live, what do you want to do. All this freedom comes with a lot of responsibility but also the ability to make decisions for yourself without worrying about how it will affect another person.
However, as humans many of us crave companionship. I never really did until recently and now I find myself in this whole new world We to Me to We. When Michael came into my life it was very difficult for me to accept that I now had another person to think about. The fact that I can no longer just think about what I want is, frankly, annoying at times. Maybe I want to eat out, or go shopping, maybe I would rather spend holidays with my family where I understand the traditions and my role in the family.
I'm almost 30 and taking on a whole new family has become daunting. My sister blogged about missing me and while I didn't miss my family, I did miss holiday's with my family. I missed being a part of something that is so old it never feels wrong. Even when it is a room full of fighting women. I wonder how long it will take for me to feel this way with my new extended family. I am learning a whole new set of ettiquette, rules and customs. This was a minor holiday, what will happen at Christmas? How will we manage 2 families-300 km apart, 5 days, one dog and a car full of gifts.
Our families are going to have to adapt, the way I am adapting to the toothpaste being squeezed in the middle and not at the bottom of the tube. We will have to make new traditions and accept new norms. In time I know I will feel just as at home with my new family as I do with my old, and the new traditions will become normal and that in time I'll start to forget the way it used to be. In the interest of me becoming we I will have to find middle ground and compromise and so will michael and his family. But honestly, I will still always enjoy the moments when it's just me, Beth, Mom and Dad.
I think that we aren't really ever prepared for this kind of change, how can you be. You deal with it, sometimes happily and sometimes not. You do it for another person and you are supposed to do it willingly and you do - but in the back of your head you wonder - what do I get? I spent some time thinking about that. In exchange for all this turbulence I get a we- a person that does all of these same things for me. A person that supports me and loves me unconditionally, buys me gifts and celebrates the me-ness that makes me, well me.
It turns out that when I think about it, being a we isn't that bad it just takes some getting used to, like it did when I became a me...that had growing pains to and they ended and so will these.
~Jennibean
