Quarter Life Crisis

For a good portion of my life I heard a lot of people talk about the mid-life crisis. In movies, books, on TV, in real life men bought cars, got new wives/girlfriends. Women went shopping, got plastic surgery and many other things. I few years ago I lived in Edmonton, I was working way to much and having zero life. Through a series of unfortunate events I had ended up managing a residence where I was in way over my head and part of a relationship I had no business ever starting in the first place. At the time, I remember reading this book about 20 Something 20 Everything by Christine Hassler. It introduced the idea of the Quarter Life Crisis to me. I have spent some time in the last couple of weeks with friends from University and college and it has struck me that the Quarter Life Crisis is just what my friends, family members and myself have been going through. I've always found it good practice to spend time doing self reflection and so I am hoping to share with you some of the things I have learned over the past few years.

1. Graduation doesn't equal smooth sailing.

From our early years there is this idea that when you graduate from university or college you will suddenly have the life you always wanted. You will emerge fresh faced from 23, 24, or in my case 25 years of school to face the world knowing exactly who you are, what you want and have the job you always dreamed of. Point in fact, this doesn't happen, some graduates emerge to work for a few years at a job they thought they wanted and it turns out that career in politics wasn't really what you wanted, you would prefer to spend time working one on one with people, helping them make it through their daily lives.

Graduation doesn't equal smooth sailing, graduation is actually a right of passage into a world that makes writing exams every four months seem like a vacation you would return to in an instance given the chance. Exiting academia is actually the entrance to the responsibilities of adulthood. Its your chance to begin to take ownership of your life, finances, choices, mistakes, successes. Its the opportunity to make some really huge mistakes, or find out about the ones you made in University even though you didn't really know at the time you were making a huge mistake (note to everyone - check your credit score and that will be your first real adult eye opener).

2. What You Study in School will not be your Career.

Do you know those 15 year old kids who think they are in love and will be together forever? That's kinda like your relationship with your major, its your first love. A fast a furious relationship with lots of ups and downs, plenty of passion and something you are sure you will want forever. If it works out for you congrats on an amazing stroke of luck. If not - don't panic! Take a deep breath and look at your whole University or college career. What else did you do, what did you enjoy doing consistently - figure that out and make a career out of it. It will take a leap of faith, a support system and strong will. You can find it even if that means going through a process of elimination.

3. If you Look Hard Enough - You will find Love.

I don't have many answers for you here. What I can tell you is that, I found love when I wasn't looking for it. I found love in a place I wouldn't have looked. Love found me and recognized me when I couldn't recognize myself. Love is hard everyday and there are no easy answers. Love for me as beautiful brown eyes and a smile I can't get enough of. Love has a actions of gold that are more important then words, looks and money will ever be.

4. You Haven't Really Earned Anything Yet

It has taken me some time to figure this out. I often get trapped in the mindset that I know everything and have done enough to earn the respect of everyone. In reality I have been working for 5 years and that isn't really enough to get respect from anyone, no matter how much I think it should. Lets be honest with ourselves here. The world of work really can be a dog eat dog place. It isn't fair, just or often professional. I might be the most qualified, hardworking and ethical person but if I don't know the right people I might not get what I feel I deserve. My choice is to to continue working hard, taking the high road and making connections without giving up my morals, values and beliefs. If I do this, I might retire a few positions lower on the totem pole then I wanted, but that probably won't mean my LIFE has less worth. Life is about doing a lot of things, new experiences and everything in moderation. I've learned life feels sick when it is all about work and climbing the ladder. Life feels better when it has balance.

5. Surround Yourself With People That Make You Feel Good

Don't waste time with people who make you feel bad, put you down and are generally a drag. Friendships don't last forever, they come and go and sometimes come back again. Don't burn bridges, but don't be afraid to say I'm done with you - any bad relationship isn't worth it. It will hold you back, it will make you upset and it when you constantly complain about it, people won't want to spend time with you.

I started this post off talking about the Quarter Life Crisis - so here it is. The world is moving faster, people in their 20's often feel this pressure to figure everything out - right now. We want the great jobs, the great money, the great houses, the great life. This creates an expectation and a pressure that would make even the strongest person want to get back into bed. Turns out, there is no grade for your 20's, other then the one you give yourself. Its your life, do what you want and not what someone tells you to do. Take time to stop listening to the "noise" and listen to your head, heart, body and soul. They won't lead you wrong, they will lead you to mistakes you need to make, successes you deserve to have and a life you will be proud of - a lot later in life.

-Jennibean